Resolutions

“Ideals are stars to steer by; they are not a stick to beat ourselves with.” 

–Barbara B. Smith, 10^th General Relief Society President, 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I have been reading resolutions the past couple weeks as people post them on blogs or Facebook or other various places. And unlike some people, I actually enjoy reading them. I have always really enjoyed making them too. I am naturally a goal-oriented person. For as long as I can remember, I have made lists and goals, evaluated my performance in any given area, and thought about or written down how I can improve and do better. It is who I am. I have always been this way.

Somewhere along the way though, amidst my goal-making and planning and focus on self-improvement, I had moments where I started to be a little too critical of myself. I started to nitpick every flaw, shortcoming, or fault. While I do believe self-improvement and working on bettering the people we are is a worthy and admirable trait, beating ourselves with a stick every time we fall short or mess up is not. I have been aware of this for a few years now, of my sometimes tendency to beat myself up, to compare my weaknesses to another’s strengths, to not feel like I am doing enough in various facets of my life.

One day after reading those resolutions I was chatting with my husband about it and I told him how I was surprised I had not made any resolutions this year. I hadn’t sat down and wrote out a list or thought of a few things, like I do every year. I told him I was feeling so overwhelmed, so tired with the fear and worry that I wasn’t doing or being enough. Then I realized what my resolution would be.

This year my resolution is to make no resolutions. It’s to become comfortable with the idea that I don’t need to make any resolutions. That I am ok, just the way I am. Right now. In this moment, with all my short comings, faults and imperfections. So that’s my resolution…no resolutions. Being ok with just being me, just the way I am. And in case I ever worry this might sound kind of lazy, I can then realize it will probably take a whole lot more effort, energy, and commitment than any list of resolutions I have ever written up in the past. But I am up for the challenge.